a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Screwed.edu
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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