im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
