The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
