You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
