I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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