I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
