Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
