I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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