he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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