me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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