Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
