This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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