I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
