People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
