so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
