she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
