That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
