This house was built for laser tag.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
