Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize