White coat. Heels.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
