i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
