she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
