I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
