i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
