I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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