Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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