He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I am naked and annoyed.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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