Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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