I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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