I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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