i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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