So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
3pm strippers are depressing
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i believe in u and ur pee
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