All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
