In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
