we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
