I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
