Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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