i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
