My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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