the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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