We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
