I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
