his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Randomize
