the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
