he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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