im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Drunk is not a location!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
