found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
All the doctor said was why
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
