I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
