I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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