she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
